Pepper Spray, Stun Guns, and Tasers… Oh My!

Where is the worst place to try to mug someone? Probably a tie between in front of a police station and a doughnut shop.

Where is the second worst place to try to mug someone? Probably in an alley next to a martial arts school.

Well the latter was the location that a 27-year-old German medical exchange student was targeted in Australia. Apparently after he got off a train, three thugs jumped him. The victim suffered minor injuries after getting roughed up and ended up losing his cell phone and iPod.

The situation may have been worse but a student ninja was leaving the Ninja Senshi Ryu martial arts school at the time of the assault and called a number of resident ninjas to the rescue of the victim, ninja stars blazing! Ok, so they weren’t chucking ninja throwing stars…

“We started running towards them and they took off. They would have seen five of us in ninja gear… all in black with our belts on, running toward them,” says the ninja sensei, Kaylan Soto.

Of course if these ninjas were not student ninjas, perhaps the assailants would not have even seen them coming… until it was too late! Hi-ya!

Police reported that they arrested a 16-year-old and 20-year-old suspect, charging them with robbery. They are still seeking the third suspect.

Too bad the ninjas didn’t have colored masks and turtle shells on during class. That would have been a sight to see… Cow-a-bunga Dude!

Be Safe, Be Prepared.

Related Ninja Posts:
118 Successful Ninja Burglaries, and Counting
Failed Ninja Robbery Attempt
He who fights and runs away will live to fight another day

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A 43-year-old man got punched in the face while attempting to rob an 83-year-old senior citizen this past Saturday in San Diego, California. It would have been funnier if it was the elderly man doing the punching, but a 35-year-old good Samaritan broke up this crime with a fist-to-face interruption.

The robber got so upset, he called 911 to report the assault on himself.

When the police show up, they figure out what happened and arrested the 43-year-old for abuse of an elderly person and attempted robbery.

The police located the elderly man and confirmed the story that while he was pinned against a wall and the would-be-robber rifled through his pockets, the bystander came to his aid.

Kinda reminds me of a similar story about a year back when another guy shouldn’t have called 911, but did anyways. Something about a man in New Hampshire getting ripped off by a drug dealer, so he calls 911 to report the drug dealer took his money and didn’t give him his drugs. The police showed up, and arrested the man for admitting to trying to buy drugs. I believe the drug dealer got away…

You would think people were smarter than that. At least there weren’t any chicken nuggets involved in these two incidents…

Be Safe, Be Prepared.

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Note to McDonald’s Managers everywhere: Order more chicken McNuggets and stop running out of stock. Seriously, just order a few more cases to have on hand in the freezer. You know you have the room. This will prevent the growing problem of McNugget Rage from occurring at your restaurant.

The most recent account of McNugget Rage was Toledo, Ohio just this past week. According to the local police, a female customer in the drive-through became “upset that chicken nuggets weren’t available” and consequently “punched out the drive-through window,” after being told her order was not able to be filled.

The woman was treated in the hospital for injuries sustained in the fast-food altercation and the drive-through window will now have to be replaced.

She pleaded not guilty to the felony vandalism charge and was ordered not to have any contact with the restaurant. Not that she would anyways, they ran out of McNuggets! This is unacceptable!

Perhaps the McDonald’s down the road is sufficiently stocked with the delicious poultry morsels. Perhaps the chicken tenders at Burger King would be a suitable replacement. Losing loyal chicken nugget customers is bad for business.

This type of gross negligence will not be tolerated. Next week while preparing your food order, you are expected to comply with this request and increase your projected numbers for McNugget consumption and in turn, increase your McNugget order.

McNugget Rage is no joke and can easily be prevented with proper planning.

You are all lucky this woman did not call 911 to report this incident like last March in Florida. Remember, a full customer is a happy customer.

Be Safe, Be Prepared, Prevent McNugget Rage.

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Police arrested two people last week for the theft of a baby skunk from a Animal Crackers Pet Store in Sarasota, Florida. It is reported that the animal in question was valued at a whopping $400.

$400 for a freaking skunk? I have those in my backyard. Anyone want to buy a skunk? They are not descented, but that can’t cost that much…

I suppose baby skunks are cute enough, but they only grow into one thing. Big ugly skunks. Pepe Le Pew they are not.

Authorities reported they arrested the 21-year-old skunknapper the next day when he tried to return the skunk to the store.

What’s the matter? After a day he realized the skunk stunk as a pet?

Authorities also arrested a 20-year-old woman connected to the theft while she was at work.

The man who actually stole the baby skunk, was charged with grand theft (skunk). The woman was charged with accessory to grand theft (skunk).

Be Safe, Be Prepared.

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The Mexican Navy has intercepted and seized a cocaine shipment bound for the United States.

Not necessarily unusual news. There are reports of illegal drug smuggling and other contraband items confiscated all the time.

Drug cartels are routinely going to great lengths in attempts to conceal their illegal cargo and get stuff across borders. The simple mislabeling boxes doesn’t work anymore.

“40 crates of [ S O A P ], huh? Let’s pop one open and see here…”

Some of the more creative ways include packing narcotics inside sealed beer cans, living room furniture, crates of hollowed out religious statues, the list goes on and on.

Remember that story about the “soiled diapers” stuffed with sausage?

But back to the latest bust by the Mexican Navy. Probably the most creative attempt I have heard yet…

Over a ton of cocaine was stuffed inside 20 frozen shark carcasses. The sharks were gutted, filled with slabs of cocaine, and frozen to be passed off as a shipment of seafood.

When initially discovered by X-rays and drug-sniffing dogs, the crew attempted to convince the Navy officers that the packages were a conserving agent to keep the seafood fresh. Not buying the ruse, the conserving agent was further tested to reveal its true composition.

Felipe Calderon, President of Mexico has been patrolling almost 50,000 federal police and military troops across Mexico in attempts to crush the powerful smuggling cartels’ efforts. However, heavily armed drug traffickers with huge arsenals of grenades and automatic weapons are far being defeated as violence has begun to spill over into U.S. states like Arizona.

Since the Mexican Navy has spilled the beans, it looks like we will have to stick to our normal diversion safe products for now. Our development into the Frozen Diversion Safe Shark carcasses will have to cease. Which is unfortunate, because that would have been pretty cool.

No pun intended.

Be Safe, Be Prepared.

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Police in Jefferson County, Colorado are having a problem catching a cigarette-swiping burglar. Apparently this man, dubbed the “Nighttime Nicotine Ninja” is thought to be responsible for at least 118 burglaries, in 18 metro area jurisdictions, while netting $120,000 worth of cigarettes over the past two years.

He is dressed in black and wears a black mask across his face to conceal his identity. Not exactly regulation ninja ensemble, but it works.

However, his key to success is that he strikes gas stations, convenience and liquor stores in the middle of the night, often breaking out front glass windows and doors. Not sure how much noise he is making but at least he is using the cover of the night to act all ninja stealth-like.

At least this guy is getting part of the ninja routine right, unlike our recent katana wielding ninja at the dry cleaners at 8 AM in the freaking morning.

Once inside the store, the “Nicotine Ninja” with discerning taste only steals name brand cartons of cigarettes and leaves the generic brands behind. He also leaves other items untouched, like lottery tickets, cash registers and other typically valuable targets.

Since this ninja is still at large, the rest of the details are still unknown, as far as what ninja weapons he carries or other important tidbits. Just as a ninja would want it too be.

Police are entertaining the possibility that this may be a well coordinated group of ninjas, since there have been so many similar incidents over a rather significantly large but local area.

If the Nicotine Ninja’s 2-year crime spree is any indication, it may be increasingly difficult for the police to foil his next hit, unless of course the Colorado Police deploy an Anti-Ninja Task Force comprised of former ninjas, trained in the art of Ninjitsu.

That or find a Spartan Warrior. (Yes the Spartan beat the Ninja on the Deadliest Warrior TV show.

Be Safe, Be Prepared.

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Other Ninja Related Blog posts:

Failed Ninja Robbery Attempt

Kangaroo Intruder Terrorizes Family in Australian Home Invasion

Enter the Whale, the Inconspicuous and the Shark

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Apparently there is a little racket going on down in Georgia where inmates sneak out into the prison exercise yard and collect contraband items tossed over the fences. It seems the contraband is usually non-dangerous items, but lockup luxuries such as cigarettes. I suppose it could just as easily be a weapon, which is more disturbing but this incident only concerns some smokes.

It looks like it was 25-year-old inmate Harry Jackson’s turn to collect the goods was this past Saturday.

Jackson was originally locked up for driving with a suspended license, possession of a controlled substance, obstruction of an officer, possession of drug objects, possession of cocaine within 1,000 feet of a school and violating his probation.

So just before 2 AM, Jackson picks an electronic lock on a recreation room door with some wire taken off a broom and makes his way into the yard. Upon inspecting the grounds for the expected loot, Jackson was unable to locate anything. Someone dropped the ball.

Previously told by the other Camden County inmates to not come back without the cigarettes, Jackson climbed the outer fence and made his way to Snappy Foods convenience store about a block away. Aren’t jail perimeters equipped with really high, double fences with barbed wire at the top?

When he got to the store, he broke a window and set off the security alarm. Jackson was able to grab about 14 packs of cigarettes and head back towards the jail.

Meanwhile back at the prison, a routine door check by a detention officer found an unlocked door that was locked a few minutes earlier and he alerted the staff that an inmate was missing. As prison officers were trying to determine who was gone, patrol deputies outside were responding to the alarm at Snappy Foods down the road on U.S. 17.

Firefighters at the station next to the store told officers they saw a man dressed in white, inmate-like clothing leaving the store. Back at the jail, a deputy spotted the shadowy figure of a man trying to sneak back into the facility.

Jail surveillance cameras showed other inmates acting suspiciously during the incident and investigators are interviewing them to determine if others were involved. I don’t know, maybe get some security cameras on the exercise yard and install some door alarms?

The inmate was arrested for breaking out of jail and the burglary of a nearby convenience store. I am guessing breaking back in to jail will probably not be charged.

“We thought we had two separate incidents. By the time we locate this guy, he’s one and the same,” Sheriff Tommy Gregory said.

“When I took office Jan. 1, there were rumors that inmates were using wire off brooms to pop these electronic locks,” Gregory said. “It turned out to be true.”

Gregory had also recently banned smoking at the prison.

Although his office had not detected any previous breakouts, he has been working with the county engineer to get metal plates to make the locking mechanisms more secure, but they have not been installed yet. They have also started to replace the brooms containing wire.

I’m wondering if there were any other break out, break back in incidents that went undetected? Frankly, I’m surprised the guy came back. “Don’t come back without any smokes.” So the guy breaks out of jail, rips off a store and tried to go back in? If it was that easy to get out, I would have thought he’d be gone. Get your own freaking cigarettes.

However, it was very considerate of Jackson to attempt to accommodate his cellblock friends… I hope that the gesture was well received, seeing that he had to disappoint them when the cigarettes were confiscated.

Be Safe, Be Prepared.

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A guy from Connecticut has been charged with stealing hundreds of packs of Orbit chewing gum from area stores.

He must have had a very dirty mouth.

21-year-old Kenneth McManus surrendered himself to police after a warrant for his arrest was issued on charges of fourth-degree larceny.

On a Jan. 22, McManus was accused of stealing $500 worth or about 175 packs of Orbit gum from a Shaw’s supermarket on Black Rock Turnpike.

According to the Police, McManus was recorded by supermarket surveillance cameras stuffing the individual packs of Orbit gum into his pockets and then leaving the store.

Three days earlier, he was charged with stealing about $200 worth of Orbit gum from another Shaw’s in Stratford.

Another 12 days prior, he was arrested for stealing around $75 worth of Orbit gum from a Bridgeport CVS store on Boston Avenue.

That is a lot of gum. It would make the Orbit girl proud.

Be Safe, Be Prepared, Keep your mouth clean and fresh.

All of the sudden I am craving gum…

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Apparently two men recently attempted to steal a car in Nigeria.

While caught in the act, one quickly man fled the scene and the other ended up cornered by local vigilantes. So what is a would-be criminal to do in such situation? Turn himself into a goat, what else?

According to one of Nigeria’s biggest daily newspapers, once the human criminal turned into a goat, he was easily apprehended.

The police, rather pleased with the capture, paraded the goat before journalists and released pictures of the animal suspect.

Supposedly, the deep belief in black magic is Nigeria is widespread, particularly in the more rural areas. So stories like this are not surprising to find in Nigerian newspapers.

So keep an eye out for any suspicious goat, or I suppose any livestock that may be eyeing your vehicle. You never know when the animal may transform back into a human and be off with your car!

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So much for Enter the Dragon, Bruce Lee he is not. Apparently a ninja, or at least a lame attempt at being one unsuccessfully attempted to steal two different ATM machines in sunny Florida over the past few weeks. One outside a bank, one outside a Walgreens.

Authorities in West Palm Beach were reviewing some surveillance footage of a hefty man, squeezed into an authentic looking ninja costume. All that was visibly was the overweight man’s eyes, aside from the bulging beer gut hanging over the belt line. Not exactly a martial arts poster child, Bruce Lee would be sad. Kinda reminds me of the old Chris Farley Beverly Hills Ninja movie.

It was not disclosed actually how the man was attempting to sneak off into the shadows with the ATM machines or the loot contained within, but I’m sure it was more covert than the guy in Ohio.

This guy stood in line at a Stow, Ohio bank for several minutes, with a ski mask on. He politely waited his turn and approached the teller, who then asked him to remove his mask before being served.

As if his intentions were not yet clear, it was then when the ski-masked man produced what ended up being a toy gun, and demanded an undisclosed amount of money.

Much to the surprise of this not-so-stealthy robber, the police were tipped off a few minutes before the attempt, and were able to arrest him rather quickly after a brief car chase. I don’t know, perhaps someone noticed this guy while he waited in line and reported suspicious activity?

The last story for the day is more self-defense related, but involves punching a shark.

Looks like an Australian surfer unloaded his fist into the side of the head of a shark while it bit the leg of his 13-year-old cousin and dragged her under the water.

“He’s extremely brave in his actions. He’s probably saved her life.” says a local police officer.

The two were surfing off Tasmania on Sunday when a 16-foot white-pointer shark grabbed the girl by the leg and dragged her under. Her 20-year-old cousin paddled over, punched the shark, who then released its bite. He then put the girl onto his surfboard and paddled back to the safety of the shore. That is a big freaking shark.

The girl was in stable condition in the hospital and is expected to recover. Luckily, her quick thinking and brave cousin was able to take action and thwart what could have been a fatal encounter.

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